Grief in Children

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Navigating Grief in Children

Understanding how children process and cope with the loss of a loved one is crucial, and their responses may vary depending on their age and maturity. As children grow and develop, they may revisit the memories of their loss, making it vital for you to offer continuous support during this challenging period.

To provide insight into how children at different stages of development experience and respond to the loss of a significant figure in their lives, we've outlined their reactions based on age:

Infants and Toddlers

Infants and toddlers, although unable to fully comprehend the concept of death, can sense the absence of someone they are accustomed to. To help them cope, embrace them with added affection, providing a sense of security and love.

Younger Children

Younger children may struggle to distinguish between reality and fantasy, as well as the permanence of death. Euphemisms, such as "gone away" or "sleeping," can lead to confusion and unfounded fears. Honesty is key when discussing death with young children, using simple and direct language they can grasp.

Older Children

As children grow and develop a better understanding of abstract concepts, they may have more specific questions about death. It's crucial to provide factual and precise answers. Older children may also experience vulnerability and insecurity due to the loss, as well as other life changes. Encourage open conversations to help them express their pain and grief.


Teenagers, striving for independence, might internalize their grief to appear mature and in control. This can lead to high-risk behaviors as an outlet for their emotions. Encourage them to communicate with friends and peers, and remain available for conversations. Honesty about your own grief can help them see that mourning is a natural and healing process.

While the instinct may be to shield your grief from your children, many have found that honesty is the better approach. It allows them to witness the natural and healing aspects of grieving. Avoiding discussions about the deceased loved one may create feelings of secrecy and loss of cherished memories. In truth, talking openly about the deceased person, focusing on their positive qualities, can aid in the healing process.

Amidst your own pain and the many responsibilities, remember that your children need your support just as much as you need theirs during this trying time.

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